Old Friends

I have some friends that I haven't seen in around six or so years and sometimes I get this pull at my heart when I see their Facebook updates. Such as today. They are going to visit their grandpa in the hospital and they know he's not going to make it much longer. I wish so hard that I could be with them during this tough time because I have been there with them through other tough times. I remember when that same grandpa had a heart attack probably ten years ago and I remember letting Mandy cry on my shoulder. She was always there for me when I needed her and now we've been apart so long it seems almost like another lifetime.
My prayers are with them and I'm sending all of my love, but sometimes I wish I could do more.
Just like I wish I could do more for Sofia. I was informed earlier this morning that something is going on with her treatment fund and she might be leaving earlier than she needs. I don't have all the information yet, but from what I've heard, there will probably be more fund-raising needed. So keep looking here for more information because I would put it here first!
Keep praying for everyone mentioned above. And old friends of yours too.

Snowy Second Semester

As in many places this past week, there has been snow here. This picture was taken last week when my campus experience a brief amount of snow, but there is a considerably larger amount on the ground now.I have somewhat mixed feelings about this sort of precipitation. Yeah, I know what you're all thinking "you have mixed feelings about almost everything." I suppose you are correct, but I can't help but look at both sides of a situation.

Why I like snow:
There are many reasons why I like snow and the first one I will give you is that it looks so awesome. I mean you have those awesome flakes and the ground is all white and nice looking. Another reason I like snow is, of course, the fact that classes are canceled. True, only one of my classes was canceled, but that meant I was done at nine instead of four. Big difference. I also really like what snow does to people. It brings out a person's true self. Don't believe me? Think of it like this: if you ask someone how they feel about snow they will either say "I LOVE snow" or "It makes everything a hassle." See, they are either optimistic or pessimistic and that's probably how they are about everything.

Why I hate snow:
I am exceedingly clumsy and walking places in the snow causes me to trip more than usual. It is so cold outside I don't want to go anywhere. When you walk to class the bottoms of my pants' legs gets soaked and it feels gross when I take my shoes off. There's always a chance someone will want to play in the snow and that never seemed like a lot of fun to me.

I guess you can say there are more reasons, and better reasons, why I like snow. So I just tell people I like snow because it's not really a lie.

Since my last post I have started second semester and I am really enjoying it. On Mondays and Fridays I only have one class and it makes the weekend that much better. On Tuesdays I have three classes, but two of them are English courses so I don't mind too much. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I have two classes and Thursdays are the worst because I have my Physics lab. It's not that it's very difficult, but it is so boring.

My Introduction to Literature is my favorite class out of them all because we just read and talk about what we've read. Right now we're reading short stories and it even inspired me to write one of my own. My professor even read it and told me it was pretty good, she also gave me some tips to improve it. I can't wait to see how awesome this class can get.

Well, I hope you all have a great weekend and be careful in the snow.

My Guardian Angel (or how I view my sister Lily)

There's something, rather someone I've been thinking a lot about recently. I feel her with me constantly, but sometimes I forget to smile and thank her. Because I feel I should thank her.Without her, I wouldn't be here.

But I've never really met her.

No one has.

But because of her I am here today...and sometimes I feel guilty for something I had no control over. Because if she were here...I wouldn't be.

My guardian angel. My almost. My sister, Lily, who was never born.

I got to name her when I was old enough to know about her. I thought long and hard about who I'd want my sister to be and what defines a person more than their name?

I never really discuss this with anyone because I sometimes feel like bringing her up will make me sound crazy. That telling someone I'd been thinking about my sister who was never born will make me seem unstable. But not right now.

Right now I feel like I know who I am because I know her better than anyone else. I feel like I was born with both of our personalities sometimes. That I feel things more deeply because she is always with me.

On some days this knowledge is empowering, just like it is now. But sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if Lily lived and I hadn't existed. I picture her being like me, but somehow more. Somehow she would be everything I strive for. And she is. I strive to be like her everyday because I'm living in her space. Since I get to live, I want to do it right. For Lily.

I'm not writing this for her benefit, because I secretly tell her everyday how thankful I am for having her in my life. I'm writing this for me because sometimes I forget, as we all do sometime, how lucky I am.

My big sister is always looking out for me in a way not very many big sisters can. And I love her for it.

Thanks Lil. For everything.