Sorry everyone, Friday there was no playlist because I went on a retreat. And you can be mad all you want, but the retreat was amazing, so I don't care.

Have you ever had to give a talk about something really personal to you? This weekend, I had that experience, and let me tell you, it is hard to do. It is difficult to get up there sometimes and say "this is what I've been through, and this is how I was able to work through it." I am the only one giving the Hurting and Making Up talk on the Luke 18 retreat in two weekends, and this weekend was our planning retreat. I felt as though I was going too fast, but when it was over I was glad to have it off of my chest.

That's what talking about things can do for you. After my talk was over we had another talk and then adoration. I love adoration. The feeling I get from talking about things that are troubling me is intensified one hundred percent when I give myself over to God in adoration. You see, God knows what you're feeling and when you decide to give it to Him, just like I talked about before, it's simply amazing.

I have to say farewell now, I'm getting distracted by showtunes. ("doing number 17, the spread eagle!"), that was for SC. Here's to having a great Holy Week and my Youtube video getting over 2,000 views!

A Description

Earlier in my blog I had talked about not judging people because of one thing, now I want to go back, and try to describe myself by just using some of the things I have in my room. Some things people have are very generic and could belong to anyone, but when things are brought together they describe a person and what they like. That is what I'm trying to do with this post.

Gangar: On top of the computer in my room sits a little purple Pokemon with sparkly nail polish on him.

A Bible: On my little nightstand thing is the Holy Bible marked in certain chapters.

Jelly Belly Dispenser: On my bookshelf is a Jelly Belly dispenser filled with beads because I ran out of Jelly Bellies.

Hello Kitty Lamp: I have a Hello Kitty Lamp that smokes when I turn it on because the current lightbulb has green nail polish on it.

Glass Coke Bottles: I have two glass Coca Cola bottles from Oberweis because I think they look really cool.

So, do these things describe me? If you need help, I'm a nerd (Gangar, Hello Kitty), who has a strong faith (Bible), and is fairly random (Jelly Belly Dispenser, Glass Coke Bottles).

Zombie Road

This is an all time first for this blog, I did some research. That's right, research. Many of you readers are from the same area as I am, and might be familiar with the location for which this post is titled, Zombie Road. Some of you more familiar than others. (You know who you are.)

Today at lunch, a few of my friends were recounting a tale in which they took a trip down to Zombie Road this past weekend, and were caught there by the police. Coincidentally, I had told them of someone I knew who had gone there and also been caught by the police, and therefore told them it was a bad idea. They chose not to listen to me, and were lucky enough to only get slammed with a fine instead of getting brought into police custody.

Now, some people may say that Zombie Road isn't haunted, and it's just a myth, but from my research I have found that people who have visited the area twice have said that the sight is never the same and no matter how far down you drive, the inescapable feeling of claustrophobia follows you the whole way down. It is said that a girl died on a set of train tracks down there, but my friends tell me this isn't a likely story since the tracks appeared to be very small. It is also said that this was also the sight of an ancient Indian burial ground. I won't judge either way, I haven't seen it, but there's one thing I know for sure: go down there and the police will catch you.

There are signs all over the place telling you not to trespass, and the police even told my friends that they have sensors down there. So if you want to see Zombie Road and have the money to pay for the fine, be my guest and go down there, but remember, with every thrill comes the price.

Truth: A Game

Have any of you ever played the game Truth whether it be at a sleepover or just to know someone better? If so, you may know that it can be a dangerous and ridiculous game. This all depends on who you play with and how committed you and the other player(s) are to getting serious answers from each other.

I have played this game with a fair amount of people, and learned about it, that's right, from a book. Sarah Dessen discusses this game in her novel The Truth About Forever, and it seemed really simple to me. Basically all you do is ask the other person (or people) questions about themselves and they have to give you an honest answer. If they lie or pass on a question and the next person answers their question (which is usually a difficult one) that person wins. Doesn't that sound simple?

I became addicted to this game almost immediately after finishing the novel. I took it up with a group of my cousins at one of our regular sleepovers, and they kind of caught on, but that's not where it really took off for me. It really stuck with me and one of my guy friends.

We all know that guys can be fairly stubborn, and will do anything to win. This always makes the game enjoyable. We started this same game last January, and it is still going as I type. Yes, no matter how long we go without speaking to each other, which went on for about a month just recently, we always get back to this same game because neither of us will admit defeat. Sometimes the questions are ridiculous because someone's tired (me) or someone can't think of anymore questions (him), but we learn so much about each other simply by asking random things.

I challenge each of you to pick someone you don't know too well and just start a game of truth with them. You'll be surprised at what you might learn.

Sick Days

My morning went something like this: I woke up and there was intense pain in my lower abdomen. I still planned to go to school, but I walked into the kitchen to let my mom know that I was not feeling well. She told me I was staying home. So I went back to bed.

I woke up a few hours later, the ache had not subsided, but I decided to relocate to the family room with a nice book that I was rereading for the fourth time. This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, is one of my all time favorite novels, as she is one of my favorite authors and I found it easier to relax rereading this story than watching a movie. Then, when I had finished that novel, I had already had most of it finished, I decided to complete the footnotes in a novel I had written last year. I didn't complete this task though because halfway through I started texting my friend Sam, and we just were being ridiculous.

Mind you, this whole time I was, and still am in a bunch of pain, the source of which I am not sure yet, but I was thinking about how people spend their sick days. I spend mine curled up with a familiar story, one that I could probably tell you by heart, while some people probably watch movies or soap operas. It's just one of those things that is unique to each person depending on what comforts them.

Oh well, I have to go and see if Sam passes on this question. I could finally win Truth after a year! You never know.

Rocky Horror Omegle

Decided that on Saturdays, if I have time to post, I will post conversations I have on Omegle. Rules: I will have a theme each Saturday. This week is the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

You: have you seen rocky horror?
Stranger: no i havent
You: really? that's sad. it's really good
Stranger: is that a movie?
You: yeah, best movie ever
Stranger: hah , whos in it ? :]
You: tim curry, susan surandon
Stranger: hmm
You: yeah, you should check it out
Stranger: its a old movie isnt it?
You: yeah, but it's garunteed to thrill you, chill you and fulfill you
Stranger: hmm . where could i watch it?
You: library probably has it. sci fi section
Stranger: ohh , alright. will i like piss my pants ? =p
You: or musical...hard to tell
You: no, it's amazing, not scary
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: what r u doing
You: have you seen rocky horror picture show?
Stranger: how it is
You: huh?
Stranger: u like to see horror movie
You: no, the rocky horror picture show
You: you know, science fiction double feature...the time warp?
Stranger: no u tell me
Stranger: u r science student
You: no, it's a movie
Stranger: i m like to see romantic movie
You: oh, well this is my favorite movie
You: it has all these great songs in it
You: plus transvestites and aliens
Stranger: ya it is great
Stranger: u have web cam
You: no
You have disconnected.

As you can see, some people will get weirded out when you talk about anything. Others will stop at nothing just to see if you may be hot. They might just talk about science fiction double features. Until next week.

March 15-20 Playlist

Monday: Breathe by Anna Nalick- This is about taking things as they come, you can't change the way things go or rewind. I had to wait and just see how things would go. Sometimes just breathing is the hardest thing to do.
Tuesday: Moon Shadow by Kate Rusby- This song talks about a friend who lets the singer sleep. She knows that no matter what, the friend will be there for her, like trusting in God to be there.
Wednesday: Time of No Reply by Nick Drake- This, was supposed to be the day I got my test results. They didn't come that day, QED the title no reply. I like the rhythm of this song because it's soothing and just indifferent to the fact that there is no answer. Sometimes you just have to live without knowing and you have to be okay with that.
Thursday: Wonder by Natalie Merchant- I have always loved this song and to some degree always felt it described me. The line "With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way" always seemed really cool and on Thursday, it just worked for me. I was tumor free, and I was making my way.
Friday: Where's the Toilet Paper? by Nicola Foti- This song is just ridiculous, and I am in the best mood ever. If you go to youtube and search the user SoundlyAwake, this song is his current video. It's comprised of tweets that he'd gotten the night before and just put together.

That's my playlist for the week hope you enjoy it and get some more songs for your collections!

Love My Life!

Sometimes you have a day that at its completion you think "I love my life." Today has been one of those days for me. I can say that honestly because this is one of the last things I'm doing tonight. *Yeah late night blogs!*

I have to say though, that I wasn't so sure I'd have a good day today. It was a bit hectic from the start because I have been waiting for some test results from my doctor which I had decided not to tell you guys about until I got the results, giving you only little things to go by such as the "keep your fingers crossed" in Tuesday's post and the fact that I wanted someone to commiserate with me Monday morning right after I had the test done. I am, by nature, a very nervous person and have been freaking out ever since the test Monday morning. I get this freak-out gene from my father who had been freaking out as well, and in fact couldn't actually see me until I got the results back to see if I had any tumors or not.

Good news everyone, I have NO TUMORS!!!! That's right, crossing your fingers and giving it to God really works. I really love all of my friends who have been so good to me this week, and I love my life!

Luck of the Irish

Is everyone out there wearing green? If you just looked down at your clothing to check, give yourself a pat on the back. I am Irish, and therefore wear green proudly on this day. I also go to my grandparent's house to eat Rubens, which are sandwiches made with corned beef. I think they're nasty, but my other family members like them. The thing I find funny about this is that my grandparents that eat the Rubens aren't Irish, it's the other side of my family that hailed from Ireland.

I always think this is funny. No matter what's going on on St. Patrick's Day I always take time out of the day to laugh about my grandparents, who are mostly German, making an Irish meal. It always works.

I never used to think about the "luck of the Irish" past that silly Disney Channel movie about the basketball player that becomes a leprechaun, but today I think I had a bit of extra luck. It was a half day so after school got out I went down to Main Street to meet some friends at Picasso's for lunch. To tell you the truth, I wasn't exactly sure where on Main Street Picasso's was, so I figured I had a lot of walking ahead of me. So I drove to Main Street the only way I know how, and parked in a lot by the riverfront. Then I walked to the street. I looked at the store on the corner, and guess what...it was Picasso's! Lucky me. Unfortunately my friends didn't get so lucky and it took them about twenty minutes to find the place, but I didn't mind.

Here's to the Luck of the Irish, friends, and those awesome letters about safe energy that they wrote after lunch!

Trusting In God's Plan

Put all your trust in the Lord.

This is one hard concept, and something I am struggling with right now. I am in the middle of one of the biggest freak-outs of my life, and today in my Catholic Beliefs class the teacher is lecturing and says that in order to have an active faith we need to trust in God. We need to put all of our trust in the Lord. I wrote this down, put asterisks around it, and wrote over it again. This is how much I need to remember to trust God.

Trust is one of the things I struggle most with in my daily life, I tend not to trust many people at all, and this presents many issues. Especially when I can't trust in God when something big might be happening in my life. Especially if my health may be at risk. When something bad is going on I tend to go straight to panic mode and forgo the easy task of just giving it to God. How many times have I heard that? I can't count on all my relatives how many times my mom or grandma have told me to take something and just give it to God. I should know this answer by now. It should be second nature by now, but it's not.

Because, just like I learned in Catholic Beliefs, the human condition is to be indifferent to God and try to solve things and take them upon yourself. We have to realize that it's just not possible. We have to let others help. That's what friends and family are for. That's what God's for. We have to give everything to God and trust that it will work out the way it's supposed to. Life isn't for us to decide, we have to take what's thrown our way and praise God for our gifts and trust Him that what's going on is His plan.

First One Up Sees the Sunrise

My day started promptly at 7:56...well to be fair I fell asleep at around three and woke up at 7:56 on my own accord. You may ask, when my alarm was supposed to go off? At eight, yes, I had deprived myself of four beautiful minutes of sleep. Instead I got up and showered and left early for my doctor's appointment. After said appointment I came home, the time was 9:40, the entire house was still asleep! To be fair my mother was at work, so she was awake. I had the day off of school, and I should have been doing what everyone else in the house, who had gone to the same party the night before, but I was wide awake. How many times does this happen to you? Not the appointment thing, but being the only one in the entire house that's awake.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me, and I know it won't be the last. Sometimes, like this morning, I hate being the only one up because I want to talk, to have someone else there to just commiserate with. Other days; however, I love being awake when others are sleeping. I don't know what it is, but it gives me this almost accomplished feeling, as if I don't need as much sleep as they do. The early early mornings are the best though, because the sun's up and everything just seems...new. I guess this is the writer in me popping out, I just feel so inspired thinking of all the great thoughts others have had and expressed about the simple, yet complicated thing that is a sunrise.

I guess that's about it for today, cross your fingers, readers. I need it.

March 8-12 Playlist

This post is short and late. I'm sorry for this. I was at my grandparents house eating fish fry and listening to stories from my grandpa, some I have heard quite a few times.

Monday: Manic Monday by Reliant K- yes I just had to do this one. Not only because it has Monday in the title, but my Monday was totally insane. Call me if you want actual details.
Tuesday: Elvis is Gonna Shoot You by The Chaotics- I felt like yelling and screaming to this song played by the band of a guy I almost dated. The song gets so stuck in my head!
Wednesday: Let Me Fall by Alexz Johnson- by this point I was feeling as though I had made it through most of the week, why not just continue through the rest of it. Let me be and I can make it through. If you let me be, I can fly.
Thursday: My Back Pages by Bob Dylan- It seems like when we were younger we had so much more planned for ourselves. You don't think about that until you get blasts from the past like I did Thursday.
Friday: Hype by Tegan and Sara- This song talks about letting go of all inhibitions and just sinking your toes into the sand of life. Live in the moment. Let everything be the way it is and just go with the flow and give it your all.

Spring and Renew

Has anyone had the chance to look outside today? Yeah, I'm guessing you have, and if you live in the area, I'm guessing you are probably just as pleased as I am that it is so delightfully wonderful out. It seems like just last week I was sitting in class with a hoodie on and I was freezing, wait, that was last week.

Funny how the weather can change so quickly. Just like so many other things in life, like the people you knew when you were younger. I was just on Facebook and I realized that one of my friends got back from bootcamp today. He had left two days after Christmas, and came back today. I haven't seen him, in seven years, and haven't talked to him in almost seven months, but it's good to know that he's safe.

His sister and I used to be the best of friends, and when I was thinking about her the other day, I got on Facebook to message her, only to get met by an unforeseen obstacle. Her fiance replied to my message. I had forgotten that they shared a username and had never met him before. Needless to say this was one of the weirdest things I had ever encountered. I introduced myself, and told him how I knew his fiance and he told me he was glad to "meet" me. I told him the same, and we said our goodbyes. He seems like a really nice guy, and I hope to meet him in real life some day.

Things between me and the people I grew up with have changed a great deal in the past seven years, but I hope to someday re-establish these old friendships that have fallen apart. Like spring reawakens the flowers outside, so too must old friendships be given time and room to bloom anew.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So many things have changed in the past four years that I am afraid to even imagine the changes that are about to come. I have college to look forward to, and everything I'm preparing for is about to be the present.

Does that seem real to anyone else? It seemed like college was this distant thing freshmen year, but now that last quarter is upon us, we have to be ready.

I have started to talk to someone I may be rooming with in college, and I have to say she seems like quite the awesome person, and we have quite a bit in common. But this doesn't make the aspect of the future less looming. Soon I will be the only one of my siblings out of the area, my entire family will be living within an hour of each other and I will be way out there. That is one scary thought. I have never been so far from my family in my life.

I have never been the biggest fan of change, which may be shocking to those who know me. No, changing my hair color often doesn't mean I like change. That's nothing if you really think about it.

I guess getting to know my roommate ahead of time will help me, especially since we do have so much in common. She doesn't have a problem with all of my crazy tendencies, and we even agree on Harry Potter!

Here's to experiencing new things. I also want to give a shout out to all of the other readers who are going to be leaving their family (AC, you and I are probably equally scared!). Hopefully college will treat us all well.

Promicide

Prom is coming! Man the lifeboats! All I hear about anymore is how prom is fast approaching and I should be finding a dress or getting a date. This may shock some of you, but I don't want to go to prom.

No, don't go back and reread that last statement, I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO PROM.

This may seem stupid to some of you who have spent high school looking forward to the one night where you get to dance and have fun with everyone one last time before college, but this doesn't sound appealing to me in the slightest. In fact, I may go as far as to say this sounds appalling.

Sure, I have gone to dances, and I gossip, I'm not trying to say I'm above people in any way, but seriously, prom, does not a night of fun for me, make. I have experienced dance after dance where sure I may have had a bit of fun, but it never was anything more than that. It was never anything I would particularly want to remember. I would rather spend my night with a good book or some friends talking or watching a movie instead of getting into some dress I'll never wear again and dancing to music I probably won't like.

Prom may seem like a once in a lifetime opportunity to some people, but for me it just seems like an overplayed cliche from the movies. I can give you the checklist.
1. there will be girls in skimpy dresses
2. there will be drama between people who once dated/ were once good friends
3. there will be bad music
4. there will be promises that people will be friends forever
5. there will be someone/some people who show up trashed
6. there will be people who look orange due to fake tans

Does that cover it for everyone? That seems like the typical prom to me.

Whatever Happened to Predictability?

I am a huge fan of things I used to love growing up. Whether it be books, movies, TV shows, music, foods, anything that I liked as a child, chances are, I still, probably secretly, like it now. I like knowing how the familiar books and films I loved when I was younger end. Knowing that the Babysitter's Club stays tight and Luca and Stacy do somehow wind up together even though she's thirteen and he's seventeen still makes me happy. The fact that the Tanner family stays in their small San Fransisco house together through eight seasons and Michelle eventually remembers who everyone is, man, that's great stuff. Then there's The Nanny. Maxwell and Fran were meant to be and if anyone says different I will claw their eyes out. I've believed all of these things since I was little.

I have also had a huge love for these little snacks known as Dunkaroos. Yes, these are the little cookies shaped like kangaroos that you can dunk into cups of icing. I remember many an afternoon sitting and eating Dunkaroos and thinking that life couldn't get any better. It was believed that these snacks had been discontinued, but just the other day one of my friends was eating them in her lunch. I asked her where she had purchased them and she said Walgreens. I went to my nearest Walgreens, and upon investigation, found no such food item. I was horrified. It is now my mission for the week to find them. If you see these items, tell me immmediately! Don't let childhood be ruined!

You Never Know

So, today started off kind of rough, waking up early in pain is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I decided that since I couldn't feel well I was going to put on some makeup and try my hardest to look well. I guess this is weird, but I always feel that if I put on some makeup I'll feel better. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Anyways I got all prettied up and went dress shopping with my friend Emily and her mom for her Junior Ring Ceremony. We then went to Bread Co. and got something to eat and proceeded to talk for over an hour. Well, they talked for that long. I'm not the biggest talker in the world, most people would would say I'm very quiet, and I spent most of the time listening to them. It's interesting what people will tell you when you just sit there and listen to them talk. Like when Emily got up to get her food and her mom talked about her childhood. I never realized I had so much in common with my friend's mom. I always only knew her by the things I was told by Emily. That's when it hit me.

You never think of your friends' parents as having lives.

Seriously, think about it. Think of one of your closest friends, then think of their parents. Do you picture them out with their friends partying? Probably not. You probably think of them as the host or hostess type person that is always there when you come over and offers you cookies or pizza. You never think of them having the type of childhood you had. Or at least I don't. I don't imagine anyone having the type of childhood that I had. If you know me, you know exactly why.

It's really interesting to learn about this stuff. I encourage you to ask one of your friends' parents about their childhood. You never know what you'll learn.

*KindGestureoftheDay- The guy at the Shell Station gave me a free Coke*

March 1-4: The Playlist of th Week

I've decided that every Friday I will make my blog post a playlist of the week and describe how each song fits into the week. Music is such a big part of my life, even if I have no musical talent. My dad has instilled in me a love of music simply because music is his life. If he's not playing his guitar he's listening to music or talking about some new music he's been listening to. Music has even become part of my reading experience. One of my favorite authors explains it very well through her character Owen.

"Music is a total constant. That's why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment."
— Sarah Dessen (Just Listen)

Without further ado, here is the playlist of the week:
1.) The Show by Lenka- this describes my Monday. The week started off fairly well, and anything that wasn't going well I was just playing off. "Life is a maze and love is a riddle."
2.) Spinning Around the Sun by Martina Sorbara- Tuesday was fairly uneventful and I was in a fairly good mood. Things were going well and I was glad that the play was over. Things had been pretty chaotic doing props crew for the Pajama Game, but now everything looked manageable.
3.) She's Gonna Break Soon by Less than Jake- Wednesday is when things started getting pretty bad. I worked for about an hour and a half with a migraine and got paid, which wasn't so horrible, but then things got bad when a woman's worst nightmare occurred as I checked out at Walgreens. I then went to my friend Aaztli's to help her with a project. When I got home I was a complete mess. I was close to tears and my mom had no idea what was going on. I was breaking down the middle.
4.) 24 Hours by Alexz Johnson- Thursday wasn't so horrible, I picked myself up from where I was sitting in the dirt and reflected on the things I needed to work on. I realized I can't always win, and sometimes things aren't the way they seem.
5.) Santa Fe by the cast of RENT- Oh how glad I am that it's Friday! I have absolutely no plans for the weekend, and the only thing I want to do is get out of the house. I want to make plans and be crazy and just get out of this state of mind I've been in all week.

That's my playlist for the week. What's yours?

How We View Others

I will be the first to admit that I judge people, but then let's all be honest, who doesn't? I have had this huge migraine lately and I'm sure I've snapped at people and I tend to speak my mind more when I'm angry rather than when I'm happy. That is one of the things I'm sure people pick up on and I'm sure they think of me as an angry person because I'm not as vocal about when I'm happy. Actually, I'm usually a quiet person, so when I'm upset people notice because I will be talking.

I've realized lately, as the end of my high school career approaches that I really need to work on how I interact with people- let them see me smile, talk about good times, etc. I also need to mend the way I view others. Sometimes I don't consider all the factors people have to deal with when I'm talking to them, and this is trouble for me, an inspiring author, because I need to think of people having more than one dimension. I need to consider the things that might be going on at a person's home or at school or any number of things before I speak. This occurred to me as I told one of my friends to stop talking about a particular subject the other day that made me uncomfortable, and I thought I had explained to him why before. I had thought him completely insensitive at the time, but I hadn't realized that he'd completely forgotten the situation I had explained to him and why that made me uncomfortable. Then I thought about how often I said something that might make someone else feel awkward without realizing it. How quick I was to judge.

I challenge everyone to think about what they say and how they talk to people. You don't know what makes people act the way they do, and you never know how what you say can affect the people you say things to. Remember, people are never just one thing, they are various things and experiences that create the one person that acts in a particular way for reasons that you may not understand.