Tomorrow I embark on another family vacation. I know that I haven't put up an entry in a while, but I'm hoping to change that.
It's funny because I just got finished reading a book (Ever After by Rachel Vail) and it was written like a journal. I thought "I wish I had a journal". Then I remembered, "I have a blog! Isn't that what it's her for?" I'm pretty much ridiculous. I have been doing a whole lot of other writing though, so that is a plus. Did I mention that this is my first post from my laptop? Yay, I have a laptop!!!
There are many things that I have been thinking about lately, and one of them is friends. Sometimes I think about my friends and wonder if they actually like me or if they just tolerate me because they feel sorry for me. I suppose this is because of a recent interaction with one of my friends in which she yelled at me for no reason and hasn't talked to me since. Am I too nice?
Sometimes I feel like I do things just to make people happy. I mean, I go along with what people say and I feel sort of fake. Not with everyone, but there are those people who make me feel as though I can't be myself without looking like a complete fool.
I will explore further into this as my vacation progresses. I guess I could use this trip as a time to find myself. Damn, I swore I would never say that. Like I was looking for me. Ha, how stupid is that saying? I guess I should work on that, "finding myself". I can't remember who said this but there's a quote that I love that goes: "Find out who you are and do it on purpose." Oh wait! It was Dolly Parton, I heard it in the movie, A Walk to Remember.
Well, I guess I've bored my three readers enough for today. Hopefully I'll get enough web access to post more entries while on vacation.
"I've gone out looking for myself. If I'm not here when I get back, have me sit down and wait."
ReplyDeleteOne of the ways we find ourselves is through our friends. They are the people willing to celebrate our foolishness with us, instead of trying to make us 'less embarassing'.
Just remember that folks who try to make you act, or think, or speak, in certain ways (while trying to restrict you from 'being yourself') are more than likely not really your friends.
Such people aren't likely to be happy regardless of your behavior, and the more they try to blame their unhappiness on you, the more likely it is that they envy your self-awareness.
Which is not to say that 'foolishness' is the same as 'selfishness', of which we must all occasionally be guilty as a condition of our humanity.
The trick is to not be more selfish than we allow our friends to be, and to maintain an honest self-appraisal while we're out looking for us.
Real friends will help us do that, and when we return that favor, we are being real friends to them.
Hope you have a wonderful trip.
Wait...you have THREE readers? I am SOOO jealous, lol.
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