Don't Cover Your Eyes

What do you see when you look at this picture? Do you see five young adults on the brink of growing up? Probably not, you probably see five people with their faces covered in a gray screen picture filter. Well, why don't you think of them on the brink of growing up, it will make the purpose of this post a little more visual.
I've been home almost all of this past week and the more time I spend here, the more I feel as if I don't fit somehow. I feel that I've already done this and there's somewhere else I should be right now. Is that what growing up is? Is it the realization of the existence of that other part of life that was childhood? I keep thinking yes, that's exactly what it is. It's the realization of personal ideals you didn't know you had. It's the opening up of those covered eyes to see you aren't playing a game anymore. The world in front of you is there, real, and scary as anything you ever thought. It almost makes you want to cover your eyes again. But you can't. You have to keep your eyes open because if you cover them again you will miss something. Whether it be something you want to remember or something you need to remember. So let's keep our eyes open together and find our new place in the world.

Big Day, Big Day

For those of you who remember me putting up this website: http://www.giveforward.com/sofias-eating-disorder-treatment-fund I am here to inform you that Sofia starts treatment today. The funds are at about 26% currently and she still needs the rest. I have gotten a peek into Sofia's life through my correspondence with her on her blog and I have come to find she is a very amazing and inspirational. I am wishing her the best of luck in her recovery and will keep all of you updated.

On the other hand, tonight I'm starting a weekend retreat at the Catholic Center at my university called Awakening. I don't know exactly what will be going on, but I do know it will be amazing and most likely life-changing. That being said, I won't be in contact with the outside world until Sunday afternoon. So if you want to talk to me, then would be the time.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Birthdays

So, I turned nineteen on Saturday and I went home to celebrate. I always feel really weird about birthdays because I know you're supposed to celebrate your life and everything, but the whole receiving gifts for being alive is odd to me. It's not that I don't appreciate everything I got this year, but I can never seem to come up with things that I want. I feel like I'm saying, "Yes, I'd like this because I've done something so simple as managing to live for another year." Am I the only one who feels this way? And why is it we celebrate the fact we are still alive only once a year if it is so very important? Shouldn't we just live our whole life in celebration that we are still here to celebrate it? I guess I'm just waxing existential today.

It Happened

Since someone is insistent on pictures, look at it. My legs are against my chest.

Hey there!

Hey, Comets! How's life? Mine is going pretty good right now. I just got back from a fun hour at a local coffee house with one of the FOCUS missionaries from my Catholic center. I really got to talk to her about things I've gone through in my life both past and presently. I really needed that, and I feel a whole lot better because I got to just talk to her.

For those of you who know me, I'm kind of a shy person. I don't usually say a whole lot unless someone asks. And tonight she just wanted to know about me. So I told her and I got a whole lot off of my chest. It was awesome and I feel so much better.

This weekend is not only Halloween, but Monday is the beginning of NaNoWriMo!! Which means I probably won't be posting much during November. I might put something up on my birthday, but don't count on anything. I'm so excited to drop everything and type this story. And for Halloween I'm going to be the red death from Edgar Allen Poe's The Mask of the Red Death. Awesome, right? I thought so.

"The Future"

Hey, Comets, for that is what my readers will now be called, I hope you are all doing well.

I haven't posted in over a week and I apologize, but part of this is because I was on fall break from this past Tuesday until Sunday, and the whole time I was home I was VERY busy. Sometimes you just have to take in all the busyness you can and enjoy it. I had so much fun with my friends and family, and I can't wait to see them all again on November 5 through 7.

Even though I had a great time at home, there were some things that stressed me out. I had to have a blood test on Thursday and I am still waiting on the results for that, and as many of you know, I am not a very patient person. I tend to worry a lot and get very nervous. I will keep all of you posted on how everything goes.

I have been thinking a lot about "the future" lately and it is very strange. Next year my current roommate and I will be getting an apartment with one of her friends and it will be the first time I will be "on my own". I know some people consider living in the dorms as being on your own, but I feel a lot of it depends on actually being responsible for paying rent and making sure you have the food you need. Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about this, but I am at the same time completely freaking out. Everything seems to be moving so fast and I just want to live in the moment. But the more I think about living in the moment, the more I think about how things will impact my life in the future. Because, as weird as it seems, what you do know affects who you will be later in life.

Just think about that, and I'll catch you later, Comets.

MIdterm Over

Right now I'm in my dorm de-stressing from my history midterm. Yikes, that thing was scary. I stayed up studying for it all week and now I'm glad it's over. Overall I think I did fairly well, I know I missed six points for sure, but hopefully that is all. I'm thankful it was the only midterm I had and that it is now the weekend and my fall break starts on Wednesday.

If you read this you probably know me personally and if you live in my hometown you will be seeing me in less than a week. Are you pumped? I am! Over the break I will be spending time with my mom and grandparents and brother on Thursday, will be spending an entire night with my best friend on Firday, will be spending time editing things with my father, and Sunday I will be returning to school.

I have no set plans for this weekend and that's just fine by me. That is all I have to say for today, as brief as it is.